my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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