just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
