ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
