found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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