I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
