There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
