I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
