how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
