I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
