Can i not drive my cunt home
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
