Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
how drunk are you?
Several
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
