MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
