We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
