wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
