North Korea, Best Korea!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
