K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
