the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
