here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize