I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
