I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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