i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
