that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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