no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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