when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
