pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
