HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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