I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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