This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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