yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
