Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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