I wanna bring you to show and tell
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
