youre lurking in front of me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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