I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
