Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
