I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
