I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
