i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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