I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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