Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
