I met the friendliest cop last night
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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