32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
