totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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