Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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