And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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