More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
