I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
