I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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