heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
