my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
