its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
