I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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