Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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