I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize