At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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