the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
