Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
