I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize