what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
