Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's never too late to be topless.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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