GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
