his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
handjob tips. give me some.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
