God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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